


Samsquanch- I Want To Believe

by lilbeefy



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Bigfoot Hunting, M/M, deans a conspiracy theorist and romans trying to be supportive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 05:02:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13357059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilbeefy/pseuds/lilbeefy
Summary: Roman supposed it wasn't normal for a boyfriend to make you watch corny history channel documentaries focusing on cryptids instead of, like, taking you to a movie or something, but he was trying to be supportive.Dean's blind faith in every single conspiracy theory imaginable is making that difficult.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have no clue if ill continue this or not, just a short thing based off a joke my friend started. i wrote this in 2 hours so any mistakes thats why lol. yes this is based off that one trailer park boys joke lol

“The Sasquatch: fact, or fiction?”

Roman could feel his eyes glazing over as Dean settled in beside him, rubbing his hands together in anticipation as the television in front of them began flashing blurry pictures in rapid succession.

“Those big hairy monsters, man. There REAL, Ro'.”

Roman snorted, shaking his head as he grabbed for some popcorn Dean had made. 

“Really?”

“Yeah man! Haven't you been listenin' to what I've been sayin'? Big ol' guys walkin' around the woods, hairy as all hell and ass naked-”

“How can you tell if it's naked if it's got hair all over it's body?” 

“'Cause' its not got any FUCKING clothes on dude!” Dean snapped, almost breaking the pause button on Roman's remote control as he jammed it down. The screen paused on a still of a picture- this one, once again, was blurry. However, it managed to show off a little more of it's body- shaggy hair, ugly face, and large feet- and, oddly enough, a rather prominent ass.

“That look like somethin' thats got clothes on? That look like somethin' that got SHAME?” 

Roman squirmed, uncomfortable. He brought a hand to his eyes to try and block the image out.

“You gonna make me look at some Party City monkey suit's ass all night or can we make this quick?”

Dean huffed, but relented; another button smash and the show once again resumed. The narrator began to drone on about the background of the creature- mainly that despite it's first sighting being a somewhat controversial subject (which was fancy narrator talk for “A Complete Nutjob Conspiracy”, Roman concluded), the beast had managed to remain somewhat relevant in pop culture.

“Even though the creature is supposed to be an elusive master of evasion, many people have claimed to see it. If the legends are true, then how can this be possible?”

 

Roman was about to roll his eyes once again when a sudden, loud thunk interrupted them both. Dean jumped- remote control flopping to the ground as he did, popcorn flying across the room in a buttery shower.

“Dean- Fuck! What are you doin' man?”

“Didn't you hear that?” Dean started, motioning towards the wall that the noise had come from. “It's one of those hairy motherfucker's right now! Right outside!”

Roman let out a sigh as Dean continued to pace.

“Look, Dean. I know you think it's one of you bigfoots-”

“It's a samsquanch.”

“W- What.”

“That's the name, Ro'. Not “bigfoot”. You know ANYTHING about these things, dude?”

Roman was almost positive the alternate name for the thing was not, in fact, “samsquanch”, but at this point he wasn't sure he cared. He decided to let the issue die.

“Yeah. Sorry dude. Whatever you wanna call it... That's not it.”

“How do you know? You can't even say it right!”

“Listen. We're in Florida, Dean. The documentary said that those....... “samsquanches” primarily lurk around the pacific northwest, right? That's literally on the other side of the country.”

Dean paused, brows knitting as he thought this over.

“But what if they've migrated? What if they're some sorta invasive species?”

“What goal would they have to do that? Think about it, Dean. The climate here is absolute hell for one of those guys. With all that hair and everything.” 

Dean seemed to pause again, longer this time, before finally shaking his head.

“K. I can see that. But Roman... Please. I'm begging you dude- just humor me for like, five seconds.”

“What do you-”

“Come outside with me, bring some sorta- like, blanket maybe, some sorta net if we can find it- and look with me. Just to be safe.”

“You wanna go out there, lookin' for one of those big assholes, without any sort of defense?”

Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes as he made his way out of the room. When he returned, he had an aluminum bat in his hands.

“Like HELL I'd just waltz out there unprotected.”

 

\--- 

“Just keep quiet,” Dean started as they moved off his porch, “and keep your eyes peeled. These shifty bastards can blend in just about anywhere.”

Roman nodded, crouching down beside Dean as he began to slowly make his way across his yard. It began to occur to him, as he was almost crawling his way into the brush ahead of them, that maybe it wasn't normal for someone's boyfriend to do something like this. Most men on Friday nights, he realized, probably took their significant others out to the movies, or maybe out to dinner. 

He supposed squatting almost on top of each other, plastered in sweat as they waited or some fucking cryptid to make an appearance was almost as good.

\---

“You fuckin' hear that?”

Roman strained, trying to pick up on anything besides their breathing. Sure enough, a sharp crack rang through the section of woods they were squatting in. A few more moments of concentration netted another result- shallow, ragged breath.

“Yeah, I did.” 

He'd tolerated this long enough and even if he wanted to be the most supportive boyfriend he could possibly be, he knew when to fucking bail.

“Maybe we should leave- you were right, Dean. It's real. Let's just-”

“Fuck that! Ro', we got the chance to make history here! First guys to ever net one of these hairy guys! We'll be famous!”

Roman opened his mouth to rebuke Dean's logic- something about how he couldn't do anything if he was fucking dead, but before he could even try Dean began to creep towards the noise.

“D- Dean! Fuck!”

He grabbed the bat Dean had left idle behind them, gripping the metal as he trudged after him. By the time he'd managed to find him- crouched against a log, quickly unfurling the heavy blanket they'd managed to bring with them- he was nearly fuming.

“Dean! We need to go, now!”

Dean glanced behind him, almost as if he hadn't noticed Roman approaching, an annoyed look on his face.

“Can you get the fuck down? It's gonna see you and fuckin' bolt dude.”

“This is serious! I'm not gonna watch you get ripped apart by some sort of fuckin' forest monster just 'cause you watched some history channel bullshit!”

Dean regarded him for a few moments, looking up with a blank expression before shrugging.

 

“Then follow me with the bat.”

With that, he lunged- hurdling over the log and making a quick dash towards the figure. Roman cursed under his breath and followed after. 

The figure whipped its head around in a superhuman fashion- it's eyes, dark crimson red, seemed to glow with some otherworldly power. It locked onto Roman, glaring him down as it's hair- oh god, its hair- moved almost on its own, each long lock- no, tendril- lashed in what almost looked like anger. The bat fell to the ground with a dull thump as it began to move towards him. Roman's eyes strained to see where the beast's body began and the darkness around them ended, it's skin was a horrid, nightmarish pitch black that seemed to suck in all light around it as the thing-

“Go fuck yourself sansquantch!” Dean roared, hurling the blanket onto the horror seemingly out of fucking nowhere. Roman blinked as the thing growled, falling to the ground. Dean made his way back to Roman, the sweat coating him almost making him glow in the moonlight.

“BAT.”

Roman didn't respond at first, taking a moment to motion towards the ground below him. Dean huffed, rolling his eyes before grabbing it and making his way back to the pile in front of them. He wasted no time, raising the bat and bringing it down with a scream. 

The impact made a sickening crunch- hitting what Roman assumed to be bone- and the creature roared in pain. Dean didn't relent, bringing the bat down three, four, five more times before he finally staggered away. 

“Fucker's down, I think.” He rasped, trying to collect himself. Roman stared, expression completely blank, at the covered figure he was almost positive had just died in front of him. 

That's when it started to stir.

“Oh SHIT-”

Roman jumped back as Dean moved to action again, readying the bat as the thing shambled to it's feet. Slowly, the blanket covering it began to slip off it's body, pooling at it's feet as it turned to meet them. Roman froze, looking at the figure before them.

“Finn?”

Dean screamed as he brought the bat down towards Finn, who barely managed to sidestep out of the way. Finn felt the rush of air the bat produced as it flew past his face, and he whipped around to stare at Dean in shock.

“Oi! Dean- the FUCK ya doin' that for?”

Dean blinked in confusion.

“You're. Where's my fuckin' samsquanch man?”

 

“Your. Your what?”

“His bigfoot.” Roman croaked from a safe distance. “He beat some fuckin' thing down about 5 seconds ago and when we looked away, you showed up.”

Finn's expression shifted from confusion to absolute horror in a matter of seconds. His gaze shifted between Roman and Dean, breath hitching as he spoke.

“What exactly did you see?”

“Oh, nothing too weird. Just some absolute fuckin' horror with tentacles for hair and a big ol' maw lurking around in our backyard!” Roman couldn't help but shout the last bit, finally managing to lose his composure at the general fuckery his night had produced. 

Finn inhaled sharply, bringing a hand to his face and rubbing at the bridge of his nose before throwing the hand back down frantically. 

“Look, whatever tha' was, it was a fuckin' mistake.”

“I'd say its a fuckin' mistake!” Dean shouted, bat outstretched towards Finn in a defensive stance. “Where's my fuckin' cryptid man!”

Finn seemed to ignore Dean, or at the very least didn't acknowledge him. His eyes stayed fixed on Roman, and Roman finally felt the courage to look back. Finn was nothing to him- an acquaintance from work he saw in passing, sure, but he didn't know him very well. And whatever context he thought he knew him in seemed to go out the fucking window after tonight. As Dean rambled and raved on, however, the two seemed to come to some sort of understanding without so much as a word.

“Sorry about tha', Dean.” Finn started, finally glancing towards the other man. “It's a long story. But I don' think thats what you were lookin' for anyway.”

“It's a long- what do you mean it's a long story? What was that then?”

Finn stared at him, seemingly contemplating something, before speaking again.

“You really thought it was a fookin' bigfoot?”

“Yeah!” Dean exclaimed, finally lowering the bat and letting it clank against his side. “Damn things can look all sorts of ways, so I thought it was just one of those weird ones. Not the first one I've seen either.”

Finn began to walk his way through the path that Dean and Roman had trampled through, and Dean rushed back to Roman's side. Without looking behind him, Finn asked another question.

“Oh really? Where else have ya seen somethin' like that at?”

“These woods, man. I'm tellin' you- saw somethin' real big a few months ago. Big, hairy, absolute fuck ton of teeth.”

As they walked- Roman and Dean staying a safe distance from Finn- the two heard Finn grunt in acknowledgment.

“It fit all the big signs of a traditional textbook santsquatch. Only weird thing was it walked down on all fours like some sorta dog or somethin'.”

At that, it was Roman's turn to stiffen in shock.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns some more about whatever the fucks going on, but whether or not he'll retain everything has yet to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to crap something else out to tie up the sort of cliffhanger from the last chapter- yes, ill probably add more at this point lol

“Dean. I need to talk to you about something.”

Dean shot him a glance, turning his gaze away from the peeled blinds he was peering out of.

“Yeah?”

“Can- can you come away from the window for a second? It's important.”

Dean huffed, exhaling hard through his nose as he left his post.

“He's gone, anyway. Hasn't been anywhere near here for a few minutes.”

Dean eyed roman skeptically.

“And how would you know that? You got some sorta spider sense on nutjobs who like to lurk around our property pretendin' to be samsquanches-”

“Dean, please.”

The tone Roman used was sharp enough to freeze Dean in place.

“What's wrong?”

There was a pause- Dean watched as Roman moved from the window to the couch, taking a seat and taking his head into his hands. Dean hurried over next to him.

“Look- Yeah that shit back there was creepy, like I'm not gonna lie? Probably scarred for life after seeing that. But I feel like it's one of those things where if we don't say anything about what we saw to anybody then we'll be fine?”

“It's not that.” Roman's voice hitched and his eyes finally met Dean's again. “It's related, I guess, but I'm not worried about Finn.”

“Then what are you worried about? Whatever it is, Roman, we can deal with it. Got another bat back there even- if it's another shitgremlin lurkin' back behind the house then we can beat it down together this time-”

“Shitgremlin?” Roman choked, breaking out into a fit of laughter. Dean shrugged in response as he motioned towards the window.

“What else would you call some sorta tentacle bastard who tried to jump us in the dead a' night?”

“Not a fucking shitgremlin.” 

“Well, when you find the damn monsters then you can name them. I found this one, I got dibs”

Dean watched as Roman started to loosen up, getting a little less serious as the remnants of his “shitgremlin” remark worked there way through his system.

“So really, what's goin' on man. You can't just freak out like this over nothin' and if its not that thing we saw then its...”

Dean trailed off, motioning towards Roman to continue the sentence.

“It's something I kept putting off telling you.” He started after another pause, sighing as shifted on the couch. “Like, I mean- I figured after six months or so I'd mention it. Then I got nervous and thought after nine- then I thought a year and it kinda just fell off to the wayside and-”

“Can you just spit the damn thing out?” Dean nearly shouted with frustration. 

“I'm a werewolf.”

\---

In all honesty, Roman had debated on telling Dean sooner. He'd tried on their six month anniversary, but backed out at the last second. Even considering how unorthodox Dean was, he assumed the revelation he was secretly a big, furry wolfman in his off time would sour things rather quickly. Their ninth anniversary- low-key as it was- came and went without an admission either. This continued for most of their milestones, to the point that he'd honestly admitted to himself that he'd probably never come clean.

He watched Dean now, seconds after he'd blurted out something that he'd wrestled with for over a year, trying to gauge a reaction. His expression remained the same for what seemed like minutes- head tilted, eyebrows knit with his eyes squinting at Roman in what he feared was hurt. Roman swallowed roughly, trying to say something only to find his words catch in his throat.

“So....” Dean started, finally blinking after staring Roman over for ages, “Are you like- one of those wolfish-werewolves that's all animal like and looks like a real wolf, or are you like- some wolfman type shit.”

It was Roman's turn to be dumbfounded. 

“I- uh, well... Don't you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“You've seen it before Dean.”

Dean tilted his head in confusion.

“I got no fuckin' clue what your talkin' about, Ro'.”

Roman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“The samsquatch, Dean. The furry one.”

“Oh- FUCK. WHAT?”

Roman nodded as Dean gawked at him.

“That was you? That big, hairy, fuckin' monster lookin-”

“Hey.”

“I mean this,” Dean interrupted, “in the best way possible. That thing- you- looked fucking SICK dude.” 

Roman couldn't help but blush at this. Awkward as it was, there was something oddly... charming about his boyfriend rambling on about how cool he was for being a monster.

“So this isn't... a deal breaker or anything?”

“What? This? You think this is somethin' I'd break our relationship over? We're all fuckin' human, Ro'. So what if you got some flaws.”

“I mean, my flaws kind of add up to me being an absolute monstrosity sometimes-”

“-And so am I if I go too long without eating. You're not alone asshole.”

Roman smirked as Dean scooted in closer to him, almost bouncing in place. 

“So,” He started, voice coming out in an excited rush, “can you like... control it?”

“What?”

“The wolf form. Is it like... a Jekyll-Hyde thing or-”

“-Oh! Yeah, totally man. I mean. I haven't snapped and mauled you to death yet so...”

“Are there others like you? Other werewolves I mean.”

Roman nodded.

“How many? Are you guys all in a pack? Who's the alpha?

“Alpha?”

“Yeah? You know... Don't packs have alphas?”

Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I mean.. We used to have a leader we'd elect like every year or so but we kinda stopped that after the last dude left. No point in having one really.”

“So you do have a pack though? Can I meet them?”

“Why are you so excited about all this?”

Dean stared at Roman incredulously.

“Wh- Why am I- WHY am I so excited about this? Are you kidding me? I just found out my boyfriend's a fuckin' sexy-ass monster dude and-”

“Sexy?”

“Yeah, sexy! Did I fuckin' stutter man?”

Roman let out a laugh, shoving Dean playfully.

“God, you're fuckin' weird. Yes, you can meet them. I'm pretty sure you've already met some of them anyway.”

Dean smirked.

“So... They might be people I know, eh? I got some ideas on people who might be monsters or whatever-”

“Shoot.”

Dean perked up, smirk turning into a full on smile as he struggled to restrain himself.

“Oh wow ok uh- first guess; Fat dude who runs the mortuary.”

“That one Bearer dude?”

Dean nodded.

“Nope.”

“Really?”

“At least as far as we can tell, he's normal.”

“Well, fuck. Hmmm.”

Dean lost himself in thought for a second before snapping.

“This one girl I work with- Alexa-”

“Yep.”

“Really?”

Roman nodded.

“Is she a werewolf or..”

“Her? Oh, hell no. Thank god she's not.” Roman snorted, “Don't think I could handle that. But Dean, for real; stay on her good side. Trust me.”

Dean nodded, not retaining anything that Roman had just said and actively making plans to annoy the ever-loving fuck out of Alexa at the earliest opportunity. 

“Anyone else?”

“Uhh... I can't think of anyone? At least at the moment? Give me a day or two to get a whole list compiled and I'll get back to you on it though.”

With that, another long stretch of silence began. Dean settled into Roman, idly watching whatever show the History Channel had cycled to as if the last two hours hadn't happened. 

“I'm not on some sort of monster hit list because I know what you are now, right?”

“What?”

“Like- I'm not gonna get whacked or whatever because I've broke the masquerade.”

“Oh. No, that'd be stupid.” Roman scoffed. “Besides, if anyone had a fuckin' problem they'd have to go through me to act on it.”

Dean, acting against his inner instinct to be Cool and Badass at all times, broke out into a wide smile. He shifted slightly, sitting back upright and letting a hand cup Roman's face. He turned his face towards his, ignoring Roman's confused expression, before going in for the kill. He leaned in and kissed Roman right on the lips. Roman smirked before returning the sentiment, grabbing Dean and dragging him into a hug before leaving a kiss of his own on Dean's forehead.

“Don't EVER think I'm gonna hate you for somethin' like that again, k? It's fuckin' awesome.” Dean asked, voice muffled somewhat. Roman broke away and nodded.

“Glad we're on the same page now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah its fuckin corny but this is my house i make the rules

**Author's Note:**

> let me know if you want more i may or may not make it owo


End file.
